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Death & Taxes

By: Aidan Shea

Giorgio wasn't an astronaut; he was a simple man with hopes and aspirations, yet all of his egregious wrongdoings would come back to bite him on that one fateful day. He was eating a turkey and bologna sandwich, the extra mustard he put on it dripping onto his shirt. He was suddenly startled by a sound outside his door, followed by three knocks on the door in quick succession. He got up and put down his sandwich, preparing himself for the possibility of danger. When he turned the door handle to open the door, two men pushed the door open and pushed him to the ground. Giorgio took a while to regain his bearings, and when he looked up, the two men held out their identification, saying they were with the IRS. 

“You didn't pay your taxes on time, Giorgio. Now get ready for the consequences.” one of them said.


Giorgio didn't even have enough time to answer before they grabbed him and dragged him outside to their van. They then proceeded to tranquilize Giorgio so he wouldn't be able to see where they were taking him.


When Giorgio finally awoke, he felt weightless. He tried to turn around but found himself floating in the air. He started to panic as he couldn't maneuver himself around to try to get back on the floor. It was also then that he realized he was in something that felt and looked like a spacesuit.


“You are in space Giorgio” He heard over the intercom, “ we put you up there as a punishment because you didnt pay your taxes on time, the most egregious offense that you can have against our truthful and honest government that definitely cares about your health and safety. Now, because of that, you are getting sent into the center of the earth, bye bye.” And with that, an airlock opened up and Giorgio was sucked out of the room and into the vacuum of space.


Giorgio started screaming and crying. He was being very overdramatic. 


“Okay Giorgio, I’ve connected myself to the transmitter in your suit. I will now tell you everything about your descent back to earth until you eventually burn up.” said the IRS representative.


There was nothing that could be done for Giorgio; his fate was sealed. There are only two things that you can't escape:


Death & Taxes.

- Master of Stories

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